how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
