All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize