They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
