the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
