My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
