Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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