they need to just BURY HIM!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
