I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
