ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
