i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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