She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
