Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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