Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
