How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
