You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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