I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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