I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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