pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize