doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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