well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize