Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
