I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
