Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize