Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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