my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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