How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
