Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
