It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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