I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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