i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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