I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
