hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
