Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
