he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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