Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
