Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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