I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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