He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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