He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
