tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
