Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Someone shattered a urinal.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
