Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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