Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
