I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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