His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
