Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
