She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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