So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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