Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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