Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
