Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize