he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
