How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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