Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
