Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
whose parrot is this?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
