thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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