hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize