he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
