FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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