if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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