We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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